13 Reasons Why Review

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I have just watched the new season of 13 Reasons Why, and I was left speechless once the last episode finished. I watched the first season and I was a little bit like ‘woah’, this was not because it was bad but because it was just powerful. This TV show addresses the difficult topics that we don’t talk about, and things that happen everyday to children, teenagers and adults. This new season went deeper into the difficult subjects and people found it difficult to watch, some parts are hard to watch but if you really found it difficult then you can always turn it off but I wanted to finish it and see what happens after you lose someone.

I have always had favourites in the show and the first was Justin, I liked his character but he was an asshole to start with but once he learnt the right and wrong then he fixed up and tried to help and sort it out. In the second season I loved him more, although I am not going to share the details because I don’t want to spoil it for anyone. He was in a hole to start off with, but at the end he did the right thing and he got his own happy ending which may I add had me IN TEARS the whole time. The other character I loved was Alex because he was the person that just said what he thought and he was there for Jessica and Hannah at the start but he did lose himself, but in this season all you want to do is give him a cuddle and tell him everything is going to be okay. This season shows that they have all grown up a little more, they are taking their responsibility and all coping in different ways to Hannah’s death. This one has not got tapes but Polaroids instead, and its based around the court case between Hannah’s mother and the school; as her mother feels the school should hold responsibility for what happened. Each episode each person goes on the stand and tell the court their story and how they knew Hannah, this is amongst being questioned and handling the information about them and the story.
Within each episode people are saying there is at least one thing that is triggering or concerning, this is true but they are either flashbacks to something from season 1 so its not anything you didn’t already know happen; or there is a small mention or scene with the trigger in it. The amazing thing is that the cast, producers and all round the show created a crisis package which is a website that gives you numbers for helplines and other information, check it out here https://13reasonswhy.info/  You can say which country you are from so that you get the correct information, this beneficial for people that may be feeling ways like others in the show and these resources and help lines can be the start of making a change. The difficulty is that they are addressing the situations that we don’t always see for ourselves but they are happening CONSTANTLY in the world around us, we need to look at this and do something about it.

I think the acting is incredible in the show, each episode I was either in tears, happy or just shook, it was a roller coaster of emotions. You invest your time with the characters because you may have gone through something they experienced or feeling the same, you can relate and that is why its hard to watch. You get to see what gets left behind when suicide happens and the difficult process people all go through, this in each aspect before and after suicide. The last episode is the most difficult to watch because it is very graphic and you will witness certain parts and be speechless for the rest of the episode, you will not know how to feel and you will not know what to think. I felt everything in that episode, one moment I was smiling and the next I was a mess, once I closed Netflix down after watching the episode I was quiet for about 10 minutes and just sat there to think. I wouldn’t suggest watching it if you have already found 13 reasons why triggering.  Each character has their own story which is what keeps the show going, they are part of this huge book but they have their own parts. There is the news that they are thinking of doing a season 3 and I don’t know if this is a good idea, I feel the story has come to its end because the show was based around Hannah Baker and now she is gone; what story do we have left? I would be nice to watch where they all go and if people get what they deserve, good and bad.

It makes you think about what you say and do, that is the important thing. You think about how to treat others and to not judge other because you don’t know anything that they are thinking and feeling plus what they might be going through. Be there for your friends and love them and let them know that, there is nothing wrong with love and making people know it. For all you know after telling them you love them, this could change it all for them and they get better. I know things are not as simple as that, but I want you all to know that you are worth this life and this world, you are worth all of it and you deserve this life. Look after one another and be there for them, treat yourself with love and kindness too.

I would suggest this TV show as its interesting, gripping, emotional and honest. If you find aspects that are known in this show triggering, then this is not something for you but their crisis resources may be the helpful part. This helps make people aware of what goes on in the real world, and we need to talk about it more and make a change.

If anyone else has watched it or watched just the first season, if you have your opinion then please comment! I would love to know how you guys see the show and what you make of it.

Happy Wednesday

Emily xx

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Changing

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Its been a long time since I’ve wrote anything on here but I have been still on here, reading and liking posts but for me I did not have anything I wanted to post yet. I have noticed now that I have something I wanted to write about, that being ‘me’ and some form of life update.
I have made a few changes throughout the past couple of months, one being that I now go to the gym and have started eating better. I went through a phase where I was preparing for the upcoming holiday that I am going on this year, my boyfriend has planned it for us and I don’t know where I am going but all I know is; it’s hot and I need bikini’s. Therefore I had to get some new ones, this started a moment for me which was I didn’t feel good enough. I would scan myself and pick out all the things wrong with me and for the first time in a long while, I can say I really disliked how I looked and my mentality. After realising that I need to sort my shit out because this life is too short, I started up a membership and the gym and decided I am going to eat better with no bad food in the week and at the weekend I can relax. I’m not a diet person and I don’t want to follow slimming world or weight watchers because I enjoy doing things on my own and my own pace. I realised through this as well that I am not trying to lose weight but just being healthier mentally and physically, but also just to maintain and tone what I have. I can safely say that I feel better, I have a looooong way to go to get there 100% but I have to say to myself that I saw someone on TV looking like me; would I think all the same things I think about  myself on them? No I wouldn’t, but just because its me I programme to nit pick and find faults.

This process has taught me that I AM MORE than what I look like and so are all of you, behind every body is a story and things that weigh in more importance that the number on the scales or what I look like. I want to talk about that there is more to you and there is a whole life inside of you, don’t let that stop you from being happy and don’t let that restrain you from wearing what you want, being who you want, loving who you want, saying what you want and living how you want.

On top of this is that I applied for University to get my teaching degree and I got an unconditional offer from them!! So this means from September I will be studying to become a primary school teacher, this is still a surreal thing for me because I never thought I would go to uni plus I didn’t think I was smart enough for this. I did it though and on my own (obviously I had the push from my mum and boyfriend) but I got the grades to get in and I wrote my personal statement and I sent it through. I am excited for a new chapter and a main focus in my life, joint with this I get to buy stationary and a bag! Don’t judge me.

For the first time in a couple months, I can say that I am happy in all aspects of my life. I have a fresh start, I am happy with myself, I have an amazing family, good friend, the best boyfriend in the world and a rather large wardrobe full of clothes to hold my shopping addiction. I am on my way and we are all a work in progress, I have a lot of stuff to learn but I just glad that I am happy and enjoying my life. I want everyone to know that you are worth it all and there is no one else like you in the world.

Happy Tuesday

Emily x

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Life Update

I haven’t posted on here for a long while so I wanted to do a life update so we can see if anything has changed. First off is my anxiety, I feel this is one topic I am very proud to talk about because its something I am handling well. Anxiety will always be there for me but I have been finding techniques to handle myself in situations that I know will make anxious, I would say I haven’t had a panic attack in a long while but I would be lying. I had one recently, I was at an University open day and I was in a lecture theatre with  20 other people and I asked the teacher a question and she shot me down with her answer. That’s the first time in a month and a half, my brain just shut down and I could feel my heart going faster and I started shaking; then trying to hold back the tears but it was horrible. It was hard because it was in front of loads of people and my mum did not know what to do, I just calmed down and practised my breathing methods. I felt like I let myself down and it was worse because other people were looking, but I realised it was okay because situations like that are going to happen in my life and as long as I handle them and don’t beat myself up all the time then its OK! I am still proud of myself for handling my anxiety and taking everyday as it comes.

Another big BIG life update is I APPLIED FOR UNIVERSITY! I applied to start this September because if I don’t start now then I won’t start at all, I have sent my application off and I was nervous to hell! This a big step for me because its going to change my world round and throw me off my routine, I am nervous for this new situation but I am excited to hopefully get in and meet new people and take on challenges and task that will test me. If I don’t get in this year then I will do the same for next year, so wish me luck guys especially as I will also be working full time whilst doing this!

The other life updates are only small, like my boyfriend going back to Uni to finish his second year but we celebrated our year anniversary far apart. I always say this but it does not feel like its been a whole 365 days that I have spent with him, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I have also re-started going to the gym for 3 times a week and I am eating better which means I am having no junk food in the week and I can have it at weekends, just not go overboard obviously! This is my summer body pending, as my boyfriend is taking me away on holiday to somewhere I don’t know, but it requires bikini’s and summer clothes so there I just want to get in shape just a little bit more than I am currently. I am enjoying my life at the moment, although it does have its downfall like being apart from my boyfriend for this long period but I am going with it and trying to keep myself busy. I wanted to do a life update just so I can also come to terms with what I have accomplished so far!

Happy Thursday

Emily xx

 

Growing up

 

Over the snow weekend I wanted to do something that distracted me for a long period time, so this led me to look at old photos of me and my family and watching some family videos. You forget the process you go through when you grow up and how much you change, even now I forget that I look totally different from what I did 2/3 years ago. Looking at these photos I decided to share some of them with you and look at how much I’ve changed up until now.

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Meet baby Emily, this is me at the age of I don’t know because neither my mum or dad can actually say. My half sister is holding me and clearly I’ve always been good at sleeping.

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This the chubby cheeked Em who is finding something very funny. My mum use to put me in dresses all the time because apparently I had chubby legs, clearly very chubby as my sister use to call me ‘thunder thighs’. My dad thinks I am about 1-2 years old here and loving life.

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This is me again at about 2 years old, still just as chubby as the start. I was on holiday with my family and clearly holding onto my mother hen for dear life. I have always want to know is what my cry sounded like as a baby/toddler. I can tell differences between my nephews and nieces cry and I can tell them out of a crowd, I just wonder what mine was like.

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This is me at around 3 years old pushing my ladybird buggy (which I was obsessed with) around in the garden. The chubby cheeks are still going strong, and funnily enough I still have quite chubby cheeks which I hate!

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Meet me at about 4 years old, smiling away and playing with my dolls house. I think I remember this being the time I went to test my new school out and got my face painted and clearly chose a butterfly. This also use to be my favourite dress apparently because I would attach lots of badges to it and annoy my mum.

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6 year old Em in her Belle dress, with my cousin next to me who is only a couple months older than me. We grew up together and are still very close to this day, I can rely on him for anything. I loved dressing up and playing princess when I was little and Sleeping Beauty was my favourite, even though I am NO sleeping beauty.

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This is me getting a little bit older now and I’m about 7/8 years old, the full fringe is back and it’s the start of me looking like Matilda (thanks mum and dad). I use to have photo shoots when I was growing up so they created memories we could look back on, I use to have photos done by myself or with my sister. I stopped having them done at about 11 years old.

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This is my last photo shoot I had done, I didn’t like having them done as I got older and still now I don’t really like having my photo taken. I am about 10-11 years old here, and thank god that top and skirt combo was not something I stuck with for long.

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This is the point that things start to get embarrassing because I was making fashion and hairstyle choices all on my own, so clearly I was not having a good day with either of those. I would say I am about 14 years old here, this is the point when I decided to get layers in my hair as I use to have long hair but I changed my mind and gradually got it cut shorter and shorter. I still didn’t wear any makeup as we can tell, plus who wears a vest top underneath another vest top? Wow Emily those 3/4 lengths also killin’ the game.

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I had to just place this one in because I am about 15 here, but if you didn’t go through a phase of dragging half your hair across your face to form a large fringe then let me know how you managed to skip this stage because I made it last way longer than necessary.

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Yes, yes this me at about 16 years old and thinking I’m very funny. I don’t have any words for this photo aside from I had braces and they were horrid.

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This me now at nearly 21 years old and enjoying my life. I like looking back at how much I’ve changed and the phases I went through with make-up, hair and fashion. As we can also see, the chubby cheeks are still going strong.

Happy Wednesday

Emily  xx

Snow Day

For anyone outside of the United Kingdom or anyone that has not seen the recent weather forecasts. It has ended up snowing a lot here in England and the other parts of the UK, I have been stuck inside for the weekend and just an update; its been very boring. I have been out in the snow a couple of times over the weekend but most of the time I have been in my bed watching Netflix. Here are some of the photos I have gathered up or received over the weekend, these are being posted on here for me to have to look back on mainly. I have put black dots over my families faces because you know, privacy and all that!

Its meant to be spring and here we are, praying for warmer weather ASAP

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If anyone else has snow then I hope you are keeping warm and safe, for anyone that wants snow where they are; trust me you dont! For anyone that has snow all year round, how the HECK do you go out and do stuff?

Happy Sunday

Emily xx

Goals

Well this is sort of like creating your new years resolutions but this stuff is the serious business, these are goals or aspirations that will take longer than a year or in some cases less than a year. I wanted to share my current goals that I want to achieve over my life because this stuff is personal, so put your snorkels on guys and gals because we are getting deep.

Number 1 

To actually go to university and complete a degree to be a Early Years Teacher, this is something that I know will take a long time especially if I want to work whilst I’m completing the degree. I want my final role in life to be a teacher and I want to extend it  to being able to support children that need extra aid through school e.g. children suffering with Autism. There is nothing more fulfilling than supporting children and young adults to achieve the best of their ability and being part of that journey of growing up. I feel this is what I am meant to do and what I was born for.

Number 2

Visit the places that are on my list of go to’s, this list is getting longer everyday because I discover these new places through other peoples blogs and youtube and its becoming hard to plan when I am going to visit these places. One of the first places is Las Vegas because why the heck not? I would like to have the experience of being in that type of area and night life, the gambling part is not going to be as successful because my maths isn’t not very great so hopefully my boyfriend can do that for me! Another place I’ve always wanted to visit is going to be obvious for anyone that knows me and this is DISNEY LAND, I am not fussed which one either Paris or Florida but I want to go and explore every part of Disney land considering I’m probably one of the biggest Disney freaks ever! Other places include Greece (Mykonos area), Iceland, Rome, Australia and Miami.

Number 3

Get two huskies (or maybe more), this is going to sound like the smallest goal but I have loved Huskies and Wolves ever since I was a young Emily and I’ve always wanted to have my own husky to come home to. I use to have two German Shepherds but my family unfortunately had to give them away as we was moving into a smaller house, I loved those two dogs with all my heart and I spent every moment I could with them. I would love to have my own husky to love with all my heart one day, plus it would give me a good reason to go for a run more often!

Number 4

Make baking more a hobby and stop giving it up because I’m too scared something is going to go wrong. I love baking and I find it so therapeutic, plus I did get quite good at one point but I just sorta stopped. When I have my own house I want to spend my own time at the weekend to bake cakes or whatever I’m feeling so I can experiment plus I’m sure whoever I live with would appreciate cakes and cookies being made on the daily!

Number 5

Learn to handle my anxiety throughout my daily life. My New Year Resolution was to learn how to handle my panic attacks and reduce the stress I put on myself that cause my anxiety to go through the roof, *touchwood* so far I am succeeding because I am balancing my life and making more time for myself and this includes not piling it on myself at work. I have a book where I note down when I have a panic attack just so I can see what can cause them, and so far its been nearly 3 weeks of not having one. I feel anxious throughout my daily life but I have learnt to take myself out the situation and calm down, sometimes I have a panic attack but I am able to calm myself down and get back on it. One thing I want to learn is how to handle feeling anxious throughout my life, things like constantly apologising for anything because I think everything is my fault and thinking people hate me or are angry at me. Topped with stop worrying what people think of me because that stuff restricts my happiness and how I live my life. I want to be my true self and be the happiest I can.

Let me know some of your goals, it would be nice to get some inspiration for mine too!

Happy Friday

Emily xx

 

 

January Beauty Favourites

This is something different for me to try and whilst doing this I noticed that I also need to practice how to flat lay objects and take the photo properly, so lets not judge guys and girls. These are some of my beauty favourites from the month of January, which may I add felt like the LONGEST month ever!

 

Flat Lay altogether

VICHY- Normaderm Correcting Anti-blemish care

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This is my first favourite of January, I found this when I was starting to get more spots than usual although I’m 100% putting this down to putting fake tan on my face. I have started using this on my skin every morning and it has helped prevent spots appearing but also helping to remove the scars from old spots of Emily’s past on my face, this makes me feel more confident with not wearing make-up to work.

GIVE ME- Bubble Mask

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This one of the items you would have probably seen advertised on Facebook or Instagram, aside from the fact it gives everyone a good laugh when it foams up and bubbles on your face; it has honestly worked wonders on my skin. It helps unclogs my pores and my face looks clean and fresssssh once I’ve washed it off. I strongly suggest purchasing it, its not that expensive at all right now! Check it out..
Deep Cleansing Bubble Mask

LUSH- Bubblegum Lip scrub

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This always something I carry with me and I thank the lord my boyfriend’s sister brought me this, when I am getting ready for a night out I use this on my lips and then scrub it off and apply lip balm so it gives them some moisture back. I tend to wear matte lipsticks, especially my trusty Rimmel Kate Moss 107 lipstick (which is dark red for you boys or girls out there that may not have a clue what I am talking about). So scrubbing my lips beforehand means the lipstick wont dry them up as much, massive bonus for me.

FENTY BEAUTY- Foundation

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I chose to invest in something for myself after Christmas because I had brought everyone’s presents and I had finally got paid after being poor for what felt like years, when it was actually 3 weeks. So the item I brought was the Fenty Beauty foundation, and THANK YOU GOD that I did because it is amazing! When it says it’s matte, HUNNY trust me it is and it makes your skin look amazing. I got shade 140, it was easy finding my shade on the Harvey Nicholas website as they demonstrated it a lot and showed it on the model. Have a look..

https://www.harveynichols.com/brand/fenty-beauty/beauty/makeup/

PRIMARK- False Nails

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These Primark £1 false nails are a god sent, they are come in a variety of colours and types which makes life easier for someone that constantly switches up their nails (aka me). They also come with glue so they are good for on the go when going out somewhere like a date or night out, these blue nails are one of my favourites because give spring vibe which is something I need right now as I got too used to wearing black nails. Plus they are only £1, bargain.

NYX- Highlighter

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This highlighter is my favourite and my very first one that I brought, at first it doesn’t show very much but in the light; it looks amazing and I’m obsessed. It looks amazing for a night out and matched with my L’Oreal highlighter primer; it looks like I’m a glittery disco ball. Plus its not very expensive, so get yourself down to a shop/store and get one!

NYX- Blusher/bronzer

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This is another NYX product, they aren’t very expensive but they are so worth it. This is the blusher I wear whenever I decide to wear make-up (which is not very often), it has highlighter specs in it so it makes it look like I’m glowing; which masks the fact I am hiding a lack of sleep and way too much chocolate in my diet. This colour means that it also matches anything and everything I wear.

MAYBELLINE- Mascara

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This product does something godly to my lashes, I’m quite lucky to have half decent lashes that are quite long but when I put this on it makes them look fluttery and actually makes me look half human. This brush on this seperates your lashes so they look thicker but also makes you look like you have a million lashes at the same time. I had a struggle in finding a mascara that didn’t make my lashes look like thick spider legs and alongside I can’t put fake lashes on, so this was a winner for me. Let me know if you use this too and what you guys think of it!

L’Oreal- Bronzer

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My final product is the L’Oreal bronzer, I have tested a lot of bronzer’s in my life and some of them make me look like I rolled around in mud for an hour and then some did absolutely nothing. This one gives me a nice glow and makes me look like I do have a tan but does not go overboard as we have to bare in mind I am a very pale girl, it creates the right balance. It has a highlighter on the side but I don’t usually use this but the bronzer has sparkles in it that make me look all glittery, especially on summer days when the sun is shining.

Let me know your favourite products and if you have any suggestions then let me know, I’m willing to try out products. Hope you enjoyed my January favourites.

Happy Tuesday

Emily xx